upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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