HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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