her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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