Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
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The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
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Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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