And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
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Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
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The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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