boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
