so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize