Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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