why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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