Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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