If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
