Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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