Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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