hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
