Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
