so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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