holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
