why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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