Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
