ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize