get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
we should paint friendship bongs
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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