We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We are two peas in an std pod
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
