I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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