Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize