after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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