I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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