but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
