We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
