We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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