guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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