There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
