We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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