it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
