put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
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she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
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I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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