im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
