u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Can Purell be used as lube?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
