That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
foreskin is a definite game changer
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
