Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
