I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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