glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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