wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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