I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
