There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
