He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
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I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
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Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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