i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
...so i touched it.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
