Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
