I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
