I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize