I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
