so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
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No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
try to milk me bitch
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