He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
