My friends, they love my intelligence
I puked a lego.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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