Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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