Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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