As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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