no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize