Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
