but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
